At 18 I had a love at first sight relationship, and we were great friends, but after two years on-and-off, we ended it. I had a few fun relationships in my early 20s, but then some disastrous abusive relationships. I chose to return to university for fulfillment and achievement. However a number of factors led to a nervous breakdown, and I moved back in with my parents. Most of my male friends disappeared, and I miss those friendships. Not to mention the fact that I want a real relationship.

I have just turned 40, and only three friends wished me a happy birthday, although they are all aware I require some support. I don't actually meet men I like, as the situation has been too stressful, and I've had to put all my energy into finding accommodation and living expenses. Any advice? Since you know you struggle with self-esteem issues, I suggest you take out of the library You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. It's an effective, easy-to-digest book that's helped many people.

As far as your friends go, one of the most powerful things we can do when we feel lonely and abandoned is to be a friend to someone else. Can you find the time to be a friend to someone else? If you can, it will do wonders for your self-esteem. It may also lead to wonderful opportunities. There is a human being out there who needs a friend even more than you do. Reaching out can help break the pattern of isolation and put your attention on something healthier.

As for the man with the wife on another continent, the encounter may have been awesome, but how much time would you really want to spend with an individual who cheats on his wife? You can do better than a man who cheats on his wife. Please do get hold of an excellent therapist who can help you build the self-esteem you deserve.